The Chocolate Hunt
by marauder4ever
Summary: Basically the title says it all, accually it doesn't.. however, they do get chocolate at the end! the marauders decide to go on a chocolate hunt and odd things happen. No Slash. This is my first fanfiction! COMPLETE! NOW WITH SHINY NEWLY ADDED EPILOGUE!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters or Junior Mints

Chapter 1 - Thinking

One day, Sirius Black, James Potter, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew were sitting in the common room thinking. Sirius was thinking of new ways to prank Snivellus, James was thinking about Lily and Quiddich, Remus was thinking about what to think about and Peter was thinking about dancing cookies.

"Why are we sitting here thinking?" Asked Remus, "Umm… because the author said so?" replied Sirius "Oh, o.k." Just then, Peter reached into the couch cushions and pulled out…… A JUNIOR MINT! " What's that? Asked Sirius "I dunno" said Peter as he pulled hair off of it and popped it into his mouth. "Mmmm, chocolate and mint!" "I KNOW!" Shouted Remus, disturbing James from his daydream about quiddich. "What asked all of them " Let's go on a chocolate hunt!" said Remus. "O.K.!" They all agreed enthusiastically.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – Scariness

After the Marauders agreed to go on a chocolate hunt, they set out down the corridor in search of chocolate, they walked into some random deserted classroom and looked in all of the cupboards and closets, they came to a particularly large closet and opened it. What they saw was so scary that Peter wet his pants. It was Ronald McDonald! They looked at him and he looked at them. They were so terrified of his scary make-up and big shoes that they screamed like little girls and ran away.

They didn't stop running until they smashed into two extremely short people. At first they thought it was Professor Flitwick and his cousin Marty, but they weren't. Sirius asked, "Who are you?" "I am Merry Brandybuck," said one of them, "and I am Pippin Took" said the other one. "Who are you?" So the marauders introduced themselves. Then Remus said, "We're looking for chocolate" "We're looking for Gandalf" said Pippin "Who's Gandalf?" asked Sirius "He's old and he has a long gray beard" said Merry. "Hmmmm, sounds like Dumbledore," said James. "Yeah, maybe he knows him" said Sirius. Peter burped. "How did you get here anyway?" asked James "We followed Gandalf here because we were bored and we wanted to bother him."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, Merry, Pippin or Gandalf.

Thank you to Notacrumpeteater for reviewing this story and giving me the idea for the title of this chapter

The Chocolate Hunt

Chapter 3:

Hobbits at Hogwarts

So the two hobbits finished telling the story of how they got separated from Gandalf. It turns out they were following Gandalf through some corridor and Pippin had to use the washroom. So they had to walk around looking for a bathroom until some big dude called Hagrid told them where it was. When Pippin was done he complained that there weren't even any magazines. They walked out of the bathroom and ran into some really scary guy with big shoes, they ran away and that's when they ran into the marauders.

"I guess we should probably take you to Dumbledore" said James

So they walked to Dumbledore's office. On the way to his office they stopped to eat a bowl of spaghetti they found behind a suit of armor. When they got to the gargoyles in front of Dumbledore's office they said every word they could think of until they got the password (rat guts) then they rode the swirly staircase to the door in front of Dumbledore's office. Before they could knock they heard Dumbledore's voice say

"Come in"

"How did he know we were here?" asked Remus

"Because I am magical," said Dumbledore

"So are we" said Sirius

"Well I'm special," said Dumbledore

"My mom says I'm special too!" said Peter

"Not _that_ kind of special!" said Dumbledore

"Are you going to come in or not?" He asked

The marauders walked in, and they saw Gandalf and Dumbledore sitting at his desk dyeing their beards purple.

"Would you like to join us?" asked Dumbledore

"O.k." They all said

So they all dyed their hair purple and roller- skated around Dumbledore's office

Then it was time for Merry, Pippin, and Gandalf to go home, Gandalf called a taxi and they went back to Middle Earth.

R&R Please!

The next chapter will be called Getting Rid of Ronald.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own any Harry Potter characters or Ronald McDonald blah blah blah.

The Chocolate Hunt

Chapter 4: Getting Rid of Ronald

After Gandalf and the hobbits left in the taxi the marauders headed up to the common room, on their way they ran into Ronald McDonald, but they were ready this time they tied him up with some rope that magically fell on the ground in front of them. As they tied him up he started screaming in agony.

"IT BURNSES US MY PRECIOUS!"

The Marauders ignored him and shoved one of his greasy burgers into his mouth to shut him up. Then they dragged him into the nearest bathroom, which happened to be the girls' bathroom on the second floor. As soon as Moaning Myrtle saw them she dove into her toilet.

The Marauders were thinking about what to do with him.

Peter suggested that they flush him down the toilet.

"No he might clog it," said James

Sirius leaned against a sink to think and the faucet fell off. "OH NO, I BROKE IT!" exclaimed Sirius.

The sinks spread apart to reveal a large black hole.

Then Sirius got an idea…

They picked up Ronald and threw him down the hole.

When they told Dumbledore what they did he gave them large quantities of chocolate, even though he wasn't even really listening to what they told him.

**THE END**

Wow that was short….

Hope you liked my story!

Please review and tell me what you thought! ;)


	5. Chapter 5

Hey people I'm back, sorry I haven't been writing anything lately, there have been many distractions, like school and homework, and that squirrel outside, well anyways here's an epilogue… And thank you to everybody who reviewed, you make me feel so happy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that you recognize blah, blah, blah

**The Chocolate Hunt**

Epilogue

Ronald McDonald was now in the Chamber of Secrets looking at all of the dead stuff that something had eaten, He began to hum the tune to "Rock and Roll McDonalds" while he skipped through the corpses. He stopped when he heard something large coming toward him, then he saw the Basilisk, he looked at it and it looked at him. However, he did not die because he was a freaky clown, and everybody knows that freaky clowns are immune to a basilisks stare.

The Basilisk was puzzled about why this odd piece of food did not fall over dead, but he didn't dwell on it for long because he was hungry and he knew that he could always kill it with his perfect, shiny, pretty, venomous teeth. Ronald screamed and begged the Basilisk not to eat him and that he would give him free burgers for life if he didn't eat him. The Basilisk agreed that if he was given free burgers (from the endless supply that the clown kept in his pocket) whenever he was hungry; he would not eat the clown. They lived in peace for about a month, then the Basilisk realized he had gained weight and was incredibly unhealthy. He blamed it on the stupid clown that he was no longer able to slither through the pipes. One day, he snuck up behind the crunchy clown and ate him, unfortunately it gave him terrible gas and he burped a burp so loud it was heard throughout Hogwarts.

"Did you hear something?" asked Remus

**THE END**


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